Post by San Jose Sharks on Aug 29, 2024 7:41:00 GMT -6
PFHL BREAKING NEWS!!!
In a shock development today, the San Jose Sharks general manager Chris Fekete has announced he is stepping down from his position. In a brief statement posted to social media outlets, Fekete announced his decision citing personal reasons. His departure comes just two months after his hiring and adds to a period of instability in San Jose following the departure of beloved OG Matthew Rensby-Wills earlier this off-season.
The Sharks ownership has wasted no time in finding a replacement for Fekete however, quelling any concerns amongst the fanbase of starting the season under interim management. At a brief press conference outside their arena the new general manager was announced as current protective cup sizing specialist Stefan Aldrich. Aldrich was introduced to the media and a small gathering of fans to a collective groan, followed by a fan shouting “what the expletive do the British know about hockey?!” The new manager was quick to dispel any concerns with a brief pre-prepared statement.
After a short interruption in his statement, and following a private conversation off mic where the Sharks exasperated head of public relations appeared to be doing some animated finger pointing at the Brit, Aldrich returned to the mic with his statement no longer in hand.
Time will tell if the new GM will be able to win over the fans, but expectations will be high given the teams 100% record of playoff qualification and given that PFHL generational talent Connor McDavid is leading the team. Watch this space.
In a shock development today, the San Jose Sharks general manager Chris Fekete has announced he is stepping down from his position. In a brief statement posted to social media outlets, Fekete announced his decision citing personal reasons. His departure comes just two months after his hiring and adds to a period of instability in San Jose following the departure of beloved OG Matthew Rensby-Wills earlier this off-season.
The Sharks ownership has wasted no time in finding a replacement for Fekete however, quelling any concerns amongst the fanbase of starting the season under interim management. At a brief press conference outside their arena the new general manager was announced as current protective cup sizing specialist Stefan Aldrich. Aldrich was introduced to the media and a small gathering of fans to a collective groan, followed by a fan shouting “what the expletive do the British know about hockey?!” The new manager was quick to dispel any concerns with a brief pre-prepared statement.
“Believe me, I understand your frustration at yet another general manager change at your beloved Sharks. It’s been like an Amsterdam red light district whore house up in that office recently – just a revolving turnstile of men in and out. Well let me tell you now, I HAVE NO INTENTION OF LEAVING THIS HOUSE OF WHORES!...”
After a short interruption in his statement, and following a private conversation off mic where the Sharks exasperated head of public relations appeared to be doing some animated finger pointing at the Brit, Aldrich returned to the mic with his statement no longer in hand.
“I would like to apologise on behalf of myself and the Sharks organisation for some choice words that were spoken here today. I want to be very clear that the organisation, ownership and myself are not currently and will not be planning on running a brothel out of the management office, and we do not condone the illegal exploitive practice of prostitution… 
.
I would however like to reiterate that I am the right man for this job. As the former protective cup sizing specialist for the Sharks, I know the measure of each and every player in this organisation and they have the cajones to compete in this league. I also have my own measurements and believe me when I tell you, those measurements confirm that there is ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY NO ego in your new GM. As such, this team will always be run with the best interests of the organisation at its core, and not that of the VERY small ego’d general manager. Thank you.”
.I would however like to reiterate that I am the right man for this job. As the former protective cup sizing specialist for the Sharks, I know the measure of each and every player in this organisation and they have the cajones to compete in this league. I also have my own measurements and believe me when I tell you, those measurements confirm that there is ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY NO ego in your new GM. As such, this team will always be run with the best interests of the organisation at its core, and not that of the VERY small ego’d general manager. Thank you.”
Time will tell if the new GM will be able to win over the fans, but expectations will be high given the teams 100% record of playoff qualification and given that PFHL generational talent Connor McDavid is leading the team. Watch this space.
