Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2021 17:56:54 GMT -6
The Tampa Bay Lightning made a couple major front office announcements in a day that could prove to be the most monumental day in the organization's history.
Early this morning, Owner Jeff Vinik announced the firing of Julien BriseBois, effective immediately. Vinik cited BriseBois' refusal to get vaccinated as the driving force behind the decision. With BriseBois unable to travel with the team to Canadian road games against divisional opponents Toronto, Montreal, and Ottawa, Vinik felt BriseBois wasn't putting the best interests of the team first.
When asked about his decision BriseBois said he prefers the "eye test" over data and statistics that point to the safety and effectiveness of the vaccine. "The vaccine looks great on paper but I don't make my decisions off a spreadsheet," said BriseBois. "It lacks toughness and character, and I think the vaccine needs to learn how to lose before it can learn how to win. My immune system has been there before and has a lot of experience and has proven to be battle-tested."
Vinik said he interviewed 200 Hockey Men (TM) and received the same feedback that he received from BriseBois. That eliminated any opportunities left for nepotism, and also excluded all former Lightning players who were willing to take the job. This put Vinik in an unprecedented situation never seen before in the NHL. He had to pick a GM that wasn't a former player, a relative, or a direct recycle of a failed past GM.
"I didn't know what to do, so made a giant dart board with all the resumes and threw three darts to pick my new GM. Hopefully I threw a 180 with the new guy."
That brings us to the 2nd major announcement of the day coming from theInbred Sunshine State. The Lightning brought in Brad Palmer as the team's newest GM. Palmer is excited to take over and face the NHL's newest challenge - it's first dispersal draft. With the league's favourite franchise the Chicago Blackhawks folding amid various controversies, Gary Bettman decided it would only be fair to let the new Chicago franchise (also named the Blackhawks) to start fresh. Some say this is unfair to the other 31 teams but Bettman responded, stating that "the Chicago franchise has 91 of the top 100 players in NHL history, so we didn't think it would be fair for them to proceed without a chance to draft 24 more."
GM Palmer has stated that he doesn't know what direction he will take the team with the 23rd and 41st picks, but that he "is exploring options that may include moving up, moving down, or trying to nab two true difference makers off the hop."
Reporting from the state with the mostSwampland Beaches in America, this is Pierre McGuire reporting for the formerly accredited and profitable Barstool Sports.
Early this morning, Owner Jeff Vinik announced the firing of Julien BriseBois, effective immediately. Vinik cited BriseBois' refusal to get vaccinated as the driving force behind the decision. With BriseBois unable to travel with the team to Canadian road games against divisional opponents Toronto, Montreal, and Ottawa, Vinik felt BriseBois wasn't putting the best interests of the team first.
When asked about his decision BriseBois said he prefers the "eye test" over data and statistics that point to the safety and effectiveness of the vaccine. "The vaccine looks great on paper but I don't make my decisions off a spreadsheet," said BriseBois. "It lacks toughness and character, and I think the vaccine needs to learn how to lose before it can learn how to win. My immune system has been there before and has a lot of experience and has proven to be battle-tested."
Vinik said he interviewed 200 Hockey Men (TM) and received the same feedback that he received from BriseBois. That eliminated any opportunities left for nepotism, and also excluded all former Lightning players who were willing to take the job. This put Vinik in an unprecedented situation never seen before in the NHL. He had to pick a GM that wasn't a former player, a relative, or a direct recycle of a failed past GM.
"I didn't know what to do, so made a giant dart board with all the resumes and threw three darts to pick my new GM. Hopefully I threw a 180 with the new guy."
That brings us to the 2nd major announcement of the day coming from the
GM Palmer has stated that he doesn't know what direction he will take the team with the 23rd and 41st picks, but that he "is exploring options that may include moving up, moving down, or trying to nab two true difference makers off the hop."
Reporting from the state with the most
